From the Expert Series: Stalking
What We Need to Know About Stalking
Written by Jane Straub
Please help us to commemorate the 20th anniversary of National Stalking Awareness Month this January and the inaugural Stalking Awareness Day of Action January 18th, 2024 by learning more about the true criminality of stalking and the devastating impact it has on victims.
A January 17, 2024 Google search of “stalking” produced 707,000,000 results. Some of top stories related to stalking so far in 2024 are:
“In AirTags stalking lawsuit, federal judge says Apple likely negligent.”
“Texas man arrested and charged for stalking Shakira at her South Florida home.”
“eBay Inc. to pay $3 Million in connection with corporate cyberstalking campaign targeting MA couple.”
According to the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC), an estimated 13.5 million people experience stalking each year in the United States. Approximately 33% of females and 17% of males will experience this unwanted criminal behavior in their lifetime, with 18–24-year-olds experiencing the highest rates. Please note that children are not immune from stalking, including being used to surveille and provide information unknowingly to the stalker who may be a parent or loved one. Although most headlines include stalking of celebrities or high-profile persons, most stalking occurs within the context of “non-famous” relationships; meaning the person knows who is following, harassing, threatening, contacting, showing up at their home or work. Most stalkers use multiple tactics to stalk their victims weekly and the majority stalk daily.
Many victims remain silent yet experience true fear and feel helpless to do anything about it. The more we understand the tactics of stalkers, the impact on victims, the laws that protect; the more power we will have to recognize and interrupt this criminal act.
Stalking is a crime in all 50 states, Washington DC, all US Territories, the US Military, and the Federal government. Although each state and entity may have its own legal definition and statutes related to stalking, a common working definition is: “a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for the person’s safety or the safety of others; or suffer substantial emotional distress.” Click here to find Stalking laws for your jurisdiction: www.stalkingawareness.org/map
A pattern of behavior looks collectively at the actions of the stalker. Individually the actions or behaviors may not be criminal but added together, along with the unwanted nature of the acts, they cause fear. Texting or sending flowers may not seem criminal or scary to most of us. If you have moved, changed your phone number and requested to remain unlisted in all directories, yet you receive 52 texts and a bouquet of your favorite flowers shows up on your doorstep, someone has gone through quite a bit of trouble to locate you and to send a message saying, “I can find you.” Most stalking also includes threats of weapons, bodily harm, destruction of property and attempts to destroy relationships or reputations by creating content or sharing content.
How can we work to prevent something that seems so random and unpredictable? We must acknowledge that stalking is intentional, planned and grossly misunderstood and minimized in our society.
Step One: Learn more about stalking and the true impact on victims. Refrain from minimizing the behavior; do not make jokes about stalking, creepers, or having a secret admirer. Visit SPARC @ www.stalkingawareness.org to educate yourself and others on the crime and impact of stalking.
Step Two: Do not reinforce the myth that stalkers are just misunderstood. It is not romantic. Stalking includes intentional behaviors that are unwanted, threatening, overwhelming and lead to a loss of safety for victims. Common plots in romantic comedies try to convince us that stalking equals love and attention. That persistence pays off when trying to have a relationship with someone who does NOT feel the same.
Step Three: Pay attention to behaviors. Something that may not seem like a big deal to you may be a very big deal to someone else. We need to focus on the behaviors of the person causing fear, ignoring pleas to stop (including protective and harassment orders), bombarding another person with unwanted texts, calls, appearances at home, work or in the community. These repeated behaviors show lack of compliance and responsibility for their behaviors; we must hold stalkers accountable for their acts.
Step Four: Document, document and document all behaviors when there is any contact or attempted contact. Take photos, screenshot messages, print emails and phone contact. Report threats, trespassing, vandalism, physical harm to you, someone you know or your pets. This documentation is critical to law enforcement, it also helps to show patterns of behaviors and potential escalation of threats or behavior.
Step Five: Understand that technology has the power to hide, conceal and even change the identity of the sender. Technology used to stalk can be very small/miniscule and sometimes completely invisible. Gaslighting; intentional tactics to make another person seem unreliable or unstable are often used in stalking cases.
If you or someone you know is currently experiencing stalking; please contact your local law enforcement or call 911 in cases of imminent danger.
Other resources include:
SPARC www.stalkingawareness.org
Victim Connect: 1-855-4-VICTIMS (84-2846)
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Jane Straub serves as the Training Director for CornerHouse Interagency Child Abuse Evaluation and Training Center. She has been working in the violence prevention and intervention field for over 25 years and has worked with youth and families for more than 30 years. In addition to providing advocacy and support, Jane is a national trainer on topics such as the impact of trauma (ACE Study), trauma-responsive care, child sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual violence, stalking, trafficking, cyber/bullying, reproductive coercion, healthy relationships, consent and supporting disclosure. Jane can be contacted at jane@cornerhousemn.org
More Information about CornerHouse From the Expert Series
Thank you for reading our first installment of CornerHouse’s “From the Expert Series”.
Throughout the year CornerHouse faculty will share their expertise on topics related to forensic interviewing, child maltreatment, trauma and victimization, abuse and violence, self-care and secondary trauma, as well as other pertinent topics. Throughout the year we will release a written “From the Expert Series” publication followed by a podcast of “Ask the Expert” on the same topic.
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